Are both awesome, especially my sisters; however, I am pretty sure I am allergic to them. At least mildly, there’s no breathing stopping, hives, rashes, death, etc. All that happens is my eyes get all buggered up and they don’t focus right. Maybe I should get a pet snake. ^.^ Anyways, I was supposed to go up to Albuquerque today but with my eyes already acting up and me having trouble focusing I figured another day around all the animals was probably not a good plan. Unless I really wanted to take off of work on Monday.
My apartment is super clean now, mostly because it needed it, partly because I wanted to get all of the pet hair and stuff off… since I didn’t put down a pet deposit for my apartment. I really like it when my apartment is clean and cleaning it is actually fun (shh, I never said that >.>). While cleaning is awesome; I absolutely, positively, hate it with a passion. No, I won’t tell you why. (: muahahaha
Since I’ve been working a lot of overtime recently I had a bit of money that was burning holes in my wallet, pockets, pants and the floor so I bought a couple books. Obviously one was about PHP / MySQL; I must have a half dozen books on the subject by now haha. I also picked up a book on small businesses for when I finish this site and start my business. Here’s hoping that this doesn’t suck all my free time, I sell things and have loads of fun doing it. The last book I bought was Objectivism: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand by Leonard Peikoff. I went to the book store looking for Leonard Peikoff’s new book and could only find this one (yes, I was there for an hour instead of the five to ten minutes I planned on). Objectivism is an awesome philosophy and the more and more I learn about it the more it applies to life and the way I am.
Suppose that is all, my food is almost done and my eyes are bugging me still; must be time to take out my contacts.
that I have a blog and it’s been quite a while since I posted.
I blame this mostly on me being lazy, and the fact that in the last two months I have worked more Saturdays than I have been home. It’s really hard to post from work too, otherwise I may have done that this past week when I was thinking a lot and actually had something I wanted to say. So ummm… little updates on how things are going I guess.
First, NMSU *finally* got back to me about my application, I guess they finished laughing at my high school GPA, and have accepted my application. Great! They took so long that I think I’m going to wait until the spring or maybe next fall when some things settle down more before I actually start. Really should call them or go down there this week and talk to them about it. That and see if there is any way at all they will transfer some of the credits I have from ITT Tech; it really would be a shame to see 90 something credits not be worth anything at all.
What’s really cool is I seem to be in another one of my “lets get this website done and start a business, YEA!” moods again, which means I may actually get it all done this time. I really, really, really should get it done; this will be wickedly awesome when it is done and I can adapt it to so many different things that I could possibly actually make a living from the income it generates after a few years. The major problem is… great ideas in my head, getting them onto the computer, onto paper, or my dry erase board, just never seems to happen quite the way I want it to. Over the last two (three?) years that I’ve been wanting to do this I think I’ve restarted at least one hundred times. Someone tell me to get my lazy ass off of EVE Online (which is the most awesome game ever; it has pretty much taught me everything about economics) and code this thing.
I think that’s about it. Though, there’s this pretty girl at work I kinda like. Should I say anything to her? yes/no?
I know there’s probably a half dozen things that I’ve said I’m going to blog about by now; however, I’ve been occupied. Amazon and credit cards have this weird way of always talking to each other and I keep finding myself with boxes on my front porch. Not the handcuffs that they keep trying to sell me for some reason, but instead lots of books and CDs. One day here soon I really need to get a nice stereo with a set of decent speakers and a pair of really nice headphones. That way I don’t have to play my CDs one at a time on the television or rip them to the computer first; which, my computer speakers aren’t really that great … I think they’re dying.
My list of books to read is nearly as tall as my stack of CDs I still have to rip (probably 50-60 CDs of classical music still along with the ones that should arrive early this week.). Right now I’m reading “Nausea” by “Jean-Paul Sartre”. It’s rather interesting and not nearly as dry as the last book I read. The writing style is a bit different; with the first copyright of the book being in 1938. Is it weird that in reading this book, which is written in as if it were a journal, I feel like I’m violating the main character’s privacy? *shrug* It probably is weird, oh well.
After this book I have five more, assuming I don’t buy more; my wishlist on amazon has probably a dozen or two. Two Ayn Rand novels: Virtue of Selfishness and We the Living, We Die Alone by David Howarth, Great Tales from English History by Robert Lacey, and The War that Killed Achilles by Caroline Alexander. The last three of these being rather lengthy it should be near my birthday or Christmas by the time I finish.
On another note, I finally called ITT Technical Institute and inquired as to why they had not sent my transcripts to New Mexico State University yet. Apparently I had a $100 graduation fee that I never paid … and they never told me about. In the year or so since I graduated I never received one email, phone call or letter reminding me that I still owed them the money; and if I had not called to ask why my transcripts were not being sent, since I wanted to go back to school, I probably could have lived out the rest of my life without paying it. Tomorrow I get to call Germanna Community College and see why they haven’t sent my transcripts yet either. Lazy school only has the Admissions and Records office open Mondays and Thursdays from something strange like 8 am until 3 pm. I probably owe them money too; if I could skip those transcripts I would, my GPA was a 1.9, nothing is going to transfer haha.
With that, I’m going to queue up my collection of Beethoven and go absorb myself into a book.
The warm weather and I have not been getting along very well so far this year. Sunday was the first truly “hot” day of the year, up close to 80; yesterday was a bit better, only the mid 70′s, which is where it will stay for the rest of this week probably.
Sunday started off great, aside from sleeping in and missing church (oops … I really wanted to go because it was Easter.). Finished up the cleaning and laundry, made a short list of things I had to buy before I slaved myself off for the week at work and headed off to Walmart. Getting there was great, shopping was fine but when I started putting things into the car things didn’t go so well. My hands started shaking a bit, oh joy, things were going so well. I managed to drive home fine; however, since most of the stuff I bought had to be refrigerated that meant everything had to be unloaded … crap. The first load didn’t even make it the 25ish maybe yards from the car to the front door and I was done, but there were two more loads left at least. By the time I got the last load brought in and put away I was barely walking and touching anything was painful, somehow managed to grab a glass of water (I think, really I don’t remember), took one of each of my meds, put my music on random and passed out on the couch for the next three hours or so.
That night was mostly better, everything started hurting again but there was no way I could take anything. It didn’t hurt enough.
Monday! Woke up, shower, more pain … joy. Got dressed and chilled out in front of my computer until my carpool showed up. By then I was mostly fine. Work went pretty well, I spent the whole day hoarding projects and working my ass off so I didn’t have time to think, pretty much it worked; that bit of pain that was there all day was mostly not noticeable, too much to do.
Monday night, weak pain meds, glass of red wine (mmm, cabernet sauvignon) and lasagna. Passed out pretty much right after dinner and slept from eight until ten or so, woke up and couldn’t get to sleep again until almost two.
Today, I don’t know … I can feel it there in the background. If it’s sodding hot outside again I’ll probably end up coming home, taking meds and going to sleep until it all goes away. I would really like to go out for a hike or to the shooting range this week but with the wind and the heat it would be a short outing.
Starting a day pissed off, feeling crappy and pretty much useless … yay. =\ Fuck, this whole thing is probably all my fault anyways.
Against all common sense and better judgement; I’ve decided that this fall I’m going to go back to school. Instead of going back to ITT Tech (which is a 4 hour drive each way) or the University of Phoenix Online, I’m actually going to go to a real college; New Mexico State University (NMSU). A couple weeks ago I filled out some form on their website and had them send me the basic information and then last Sunday I filled out a form for a campus tour. Great lot of good that did. I called today since I never got a confirmation that a campus tour was set up … they never got it, AWESOME! During lunch I ditched work for 15 minutes or so and set up a tour for this coming Monday.
At this point in time I’m really considering a double major in physics and philosophy with a minor in computer science. After talking with admissions and taking the tour etc. on Monday I may change my mind and chose a different major but I’d really rather keep the ones I have.
The least intelligent (more stupid, stupider, stupidest, less smart?) part of this whole thing is that I plan on working full time while going to school full time. Since NMSU generally only offers weekday daytime classes, this means working nights and weekends for the next two to four years.
From talking to the administrative assistants and managers at work it looks like my company will probably pay for the physics and computer science classes but not the rest. Hopefully they will but if not, some money is better than nothing. If the company doesn’t pay for anything it will take me around six months to save up for a year of school.
Finally told this girl what I felt and not sure it worked so well, I kinda freaked out that she was going to freak out (which she probably did). Just some songs that inspire certain feelings for me. *shrug*
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Epic. Fail. … I need to stop fighting with myself and being pissed off that I can’t say what I want to. Maybe if I just said it I would be more happy.
Not sure I really want to put this here but I will any ways; at least this way it is out there where someone besides my sister knows about it. lol x.x
You do not know this because I will not tell you; but I like you, a lot. It has been years since I have seen you and last I time it was just as two friends. What changed? Who knows but from everything I know about you now I want to see you again if only to give myself a chance to come clean.
I did something a few days ago, you should find out about it in a couple weeks, I hope you like it. I hope you never find out it was me who did it.
This song is awesomely fantastic:
————————-
stars are out tonight
and you’re the brightest one shining in my sky.
it’s like every wish I ever made came true.
the day I woke up lying next to you.
will you be my best friend
if I offer you my heart?
’cause it’s already yours.
we could hang out every night
and watch the sun go down.
as long as we could watch it rise again.
gave me a valentine.
it’s these little things that stand the test of time.
I’ve saved the tickets from the shows that we’ve been to.
and a thousand other memories of you.
gave you this i.o.u. today.
it said good for one galaxy.
once I build my rocket to the stars.
we’ll fly away just you and me.
Really, I am not neglecting my blog; there just is not anything to say. lol. I have not been playing EverQuest much, mostly because of work and EVE Online is a lot more interesting to me. Still procrastinating working on that website I was trying to have done by now, and started working on a year ago. *shrug* I am slightly unmotivated.
Life really is not that interesting right now. I go to work, come home, maybe goof around with my website a little and play EVE for a bit. Besides that there is dinner, movies and sleep. Single life kind of blows, I am not very sociable and do not really have many (or any) friends; and it does not really bother me. The one person I actually want to be around all the time does not, and probably will not ever know it. I suck, and so does my boring life.
So, EverQuest and I had a disagreement … It crashed and I did “rm -fR” on it. This is after I spent a day and a half installing Fedora 11 and getting everything set up so I could play. Zone from Guild Hall to Plane of Time, Time to The Void, The Void to *CRASH*.
If you didn’t get it from that last paragraph; I’m finally Microsoft free. The only program I’m running under WINE right now is EVE, and EverQuest if I can ever get it working again. Three computers in my house (apartment) and all three running some flavour of Linux. Only had two problems with it so far. First EverQuest doesn’t work, second, I can’t seem to sync my Palm Z22 with Evolution or Thunderbird. Small tragedy, I’ll live.
I shouldn’t write this but for some reason I feel like sharing. Don’t read this … writing it made me feel better I guess.
Me and people don’t really get along well; I’ve never figured out why. Friends? Sure, I’ve got a few but being alone never really bothered me, until recently. Girlfriends? Absolutely … works fantastic for a couple years then it all goes to hell with a 12-pack of C4. Never ends well either; get stalked, harassed, called at all hours of the night with crying, or just called and hung up on. Sometimes, just want to give up. Can count my girlfriends on half of one hand, the number of years takes two hands. I was happy being who I was, unattached, free, happy, and only have to buy and do what I want. That’s why it happened isn’t it? I wasn’t happy or free, just alone. Can’t like you, nothing like you, so different, head spinny. Smiling. Why you? I bet you don’t even like me. Never say anything, better to have a friend than a dream gone bad and a friend lost. Told two people, way too many, you’ll find out. I’m ranting, nobody’s listening, time for a drink. Basshunter – Angel in the night <- awesome awesome awesome song, doubt I’ll sleep so repeat it is.
If you feel sorry for me, don’t tell me, ever. Didn’t really want to put this in here but meh, I can come back in a few years and say “that’s when I wanted to do something, that’s when I should have”.