So, EverQuest and I had a disagreement … It crashed and I did “rm -fR” on it. This is after I spent a day and a half installing Fedora 11 and getting everything set up so I could play. Zone from Guild Hall to Plane of Time, Time to The Void, The Void to *CRASH*.
If you didn’t get it from that last paragraph; I’m finally Microsoft free. The only program I’m running under WINE right now is EVE, and EverQuest if I can ever get it working again. Three computers in my house (apartment) and all three running some flavour of Linux. Only had two problems with it so far. First EverQuest doesn’t work, second, I can’t seem to sync my Palm Z22 with Evolution or Thunderbird. Small tragedy, I’ll live.
I shouldn’t write this but for some reason I feel like sharing. Don’t read this … writing it made me feel better I guess.
Me and people don’t really get along well; I’ve never figured out why. Friends? Sure, I’ve got a few but being alone never really bothered me, until recently. Girlfriends? Absolutely … works fantastic for a couple years then it all goes to hell with a 12-pack of C4. Never ends well either; get stalked, harassed, called at all hours of the night with crying, or just called and hung up on. Sometimes, just want to give up. Can count my girlfriends on half of one hand, the number of years takes two hands. I was happy being who I was, unattached, free, happy, and only have to buy and do what I want. That’s why it happened isn’t it? I wasn’t happy or free, just alone. Can’t like you, nothing like you, so different, head spinny. Smiling. Why you? I bet you don’t even like me. Never say anything, better to have a friend than a dream gone bad and a friend lost. Told two people, way too many, you’ll find out. I’m ranting, nobody’s listening, time for a drink. Basshunter – Angel in the night <- awesome awesome awesome song, doubt I’ll sleep so repeat it is.
If you feel sorry for me, don’t tell me, ever. Didn’t really want to put this in here but meh, I can come back in a few years and say “that’s when I wanted to do something, that’s when I should have”.
Here’s a probably crazy idea; but I think I’m going to go to Colorado for Thanksgiving this year. Yea, I know it’s still a few months off but if I don’t start planning now then I’ll be sitting on my couch, eating chicken and watching movies for Thanksgiving. Not that I have actually talked to anyone who lives in Colorado about this yet, so no place to stay and I may end up in a hotel or something lol. But! I’m really hoping my Aunt and Uncle in Louisville will be around and I can stay with them. Maybe I can get down to Highlands Ranch / Littleton at some point and harass some of the people I used to know and now miss.
So, if anyone in / around that area wants to hook up around Thanksgiving let me know; not sure exactly how long I’ll be up there or where exactly I’ll be but if you want to get together I’ll do what I can.
Also, I’ve been in class for these last two weeks, and for the rest of this week I’ll be in class. Just when I thought i was done with school and learning and all that after graduating ITT in March; I’m already back in school. You can never get away; it always comes back to haunt you … though these classes are really bloody awesome and I’m glad that I got the chance to take them.
Occasionally life gets many times more busy and complicated than it needs to be. Between work, cooking, class and everquest I really haven’t had time for, well anything. Weekends are for cleaning and catching up on sleep … speaking of which I forgot to clean up dinner, crap. Anyways, Sleep recently has been one of those things that I think is a rumor; it doesn’t exist. Aside from last night, which I actually slept a decent amount of, I’ve been usually getting a couple hours of sleep, maybe four at the most. A bit hard to sleep when your mind is racing the space station around the world.
Life is great. I have an awesome job, a decent sized apartment, I cook awesome food, there’s internet, I have a running car and I can do whatever I want; as long as I show up for work five days a week. I was happy, if I wanted liquor and ice cream for breakfast, I could. If I wanted to stay up all night wearing nothing but my boxers and dancing to Miley Cyrus … I could. Sleep on the couch, sure; eat dinner at 11 pm before I went to work … I guess, never done that lol. Walk outside in the pouring rain at 3 am just to feel it; fun times.
Ah bollocks; I told myself I wouldn’t do this crap this time; I did it anyways. Sorry.
I don’t know why it happened or how; but it was faster than a Windows computer can blue screen. It took a few days for me to even realize what had happened and I still haven’t figured out why. People always say that there’s is a reason for everything you do; I have no reason for this, after a week of barely sleeping still I come up with nothing. It just is, has been and will be. Some things are and don’t need reasons. There may be nudges, prods, pokes, winks, indications and hints that I’ve given to you but I just can’t use my own words and write it out. One day you’ll know. Today? Unlikely. This week? Doubtful. In August? Possibly. During 2009? I hope. 2010? Absolutely. Of course there’s always that day you ask and I freak out because if you’re asking then maybe there’s hope; and yea, I wouldn’t hold anything back.
Blah, I don’t want to post this but I should. Maybe I can start sleeping knowing that there’s a chance you’ll read this and know; I’ll tell you one day, I promise. Until then endless nights will be spent staring at the skies sorting my thoughts, pondering your responses and praying for hope.